Soo many feelings at once , just hit me like thunderbolts tonight.. i havent broken down like this in a while. I was actually thinking about the same thing literally an hour ago wierd how things plan out. You get into my head sometimes i dont know how to explain it… Then  this other one weve been friends for 2 - 3 years i miss her still  but I know she found someone out their that makes her happy. Thats what i always wanted for her , I can see it in her smile. Shes the one that got me into gauges after seeing her Os i thought id try maybe to impress her a bit. Valentines day i dropped off a box of candys at her doorstep in the morning before school , just to make her day. I remember the long car rides where we would just sit their and sing the whole time on the way to the mall or to the beach. :) *chuckles California girls was our song lol we’d play it nonstop , but everytime i hear it, it  just brings me back to her . I cant get it out of my head, I tried but it didnt work. The memory is linked to the song. At times i dont want to remember because she left and she probably stopped caring but other times it bring me back to all the wonderful memories that we had together. As hard as i try i cant forget about her. Just wished things were different at times , just wish things could be back to normal. Sitting their in her basement playing  nazi zombies >.< together and just enjoying her presence. We never really had the need to go out anywhere cause we had each other. Laying right next to her listening to all her problems, never got tired of it. I shoved so many things in my life away just to be their for her, whatever i was doing i dropped immediately and attented to her needs. I almost got kicked out of my house that night  when we got wasted , the things i did for her. My mom was crying to beg my dad to forgive me and let me stay. But sometimes i miss her. Even though she said things to me that ive never thought she would say and they hurt bad. I forgive her because she touched my heart in so many ways. Im not perfect either , i have many imperfections but i tried for her.  My intentions were never to take her happiness away , it was simply to remind her that i still think about her. I never stopped caring i dont ever think i will. I guess i just want to say thank you<3